Curried Parsnip Soup

Well it's been such a cold rainy day today, that I felt like it must be a soup in front of the heater night. So I am trying a new recipe. We have made curried parsnip soup. I was a bit sceptical of the recipe, because it had two apples in it and as a general rule I'm actually opposed to most apple sauce type things. However it has turned out quite yummy. I cooked some flat bread to dip in the soup (just used pizza dough recipe, but cooked it on the fry pan like when we do naan bread) which worked out quite yummily. I also didn't add cream to the whole of the soup as the recipe said I should, but Matt and I just added as much cream as we wanted to our own portions (with me opting for sour cream, and Matt opting for normal cream). I feel very content now. I could just curl up on the couch and purr like a contented cat. Except I'm not a cat, and I'm thinking of going to the movies.

Talking of the movies, the other night Matt and I borrowed King Kong from the DVD store. Why didn't someone warn me what would happen? *Spoiler approaching for those who have not seen the movie, stop reading now* I can't believe King Kong died! I actually enjoyed the movie (I am shallow and easily amused). With the exception of one thing - I thought that the relationship between Jimmy the kid on the boat (who had previously been a stowaway that nobody knew where he was from) and Hayes (the black crew member) didn't work at all. I'm not quite sure what they were aiming for but they missed. Anytime there was a moment where hayes was trying to protect Jimmy, or whatever, it just made me want to laugh (and frequently succeeded) because it seemed to spring from nowhere, and to not particularly serve much purpose to the storyline. One of my favourite parts was when the giant worms ate one of the men. Worms are cool.

I think Matt thinks I'm a little crazy and he has been laughing at me a little bit. This is because today I bought some ski pants for our upcoming trip. Now I'm kind of excited by the fact that I have a ski outfit (in that I have a jacket and pants) and so I decided to try them on to see how they felt and what they looked like. This means I am currently going around the house dressed up for the snow.... It's normal, I swear. I actually am really proud of myself because I feel like I currently have on the cheapest new ski outfit I could find (all together the jacket and pants cost less then $100). To the extent that in fact it is cheaper then it probably would have been for me to hire the clothes. I am starting to get a little too warm. I will have to remove my jacket.

Winter Morning

Above me
The naked trees
Bare limbs implore the sky
Through the shrouds of mist
The sun echoes a reply
And begins a low traverse of the heavens
In an ode to winter's hold

Today's menu.

Well I went for a walk to the shops after my 11am breakfast this morning. That cleared my head a little bit, although I still have that off-balance feeling. The walk to the shops was very pretty today. Some of the trees that have been looking so bare, have beautiful flowers on them now. I really like the ones with the dark bark and the pink flowers, they are a lovely startling contrast - Matt said he thought they might be ornamental pears. The thought that they might be ornamental pears made me like them less. I don't understand why you would plant an ornamental version of something, when you could have a version that produces food. It all seems very silly.

In our recent culinary adventures (it's possibly true that all we do is cook and eat, but it's fun!), we made chilli beef the other night. We had a recipe that you cooked the beef for ages in the sauce, then you took it out and pulled it apart with a fork so it was in shreds and then put it back in, then added capsicum and kidney beans. Which is what we sort of did, except we used the beef to make beef stock first, then used it in that recipe. So now we have yummy beef stock in the freezer for making really yummy rich beef sauce with our next steak. The chilli beef was very yummy, we had it with tacos and salad.

Tonight we are making fresh pasta again. This time we are making lasagna. We already have the bolognese sauce for it simmering away (Matt likes to have it cooking for half the day, as it is what the old italian cookbook we have says to do), so it will all reduce into a deliciously rich tomato sauce. We will probably grab some of the salad leaves from our garden and have a salad with it. It's been a long time since I had lasagna!

Diseased

Yesterday I felt really, really exhausted all day. I could barely think. The med student asked me if I was sick and I said no. I was wrong. I got home yesterday evening, and my sinuses almost instantly clogged up and I felt like I'd had a few glasses of wine (which I had not!). I felt drowsy and flat. I had a cold and flu tablet before going to bed and hoped I'd be okay today. I woke up today, very reluctantly. I went and sat on the couch in front of the heater feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I had to go to work. Slowly, I pulled myself together and managed to get dressed for work. I downed some more cold and flu tablets and went to work. At work I felt kind of dizzy and a little bit out of it... This may be from my illness or the cold and flu tablets, I'm not sure. I was a bit disorganised, and it was slightly unfortunate that for the first time since I've been there, the medical director decided he wanted to do a ward round with me (even though he's not O&G). I made a slight fool of myself and then tried to explain that it was because I was drugged up with cold and flu tablets, but I'm not sure if that really helped. I started to think that I might go home a little early (it was only a 4hour shift and I was already 3hours into it). I went and talked to all the people on the ward, and I was talking to the paeds people about a neonate I was worried about when I realised something...... I'd forgotten to wear a bra to work (this was a personal discovery that I achieved quietly without saying anything). I think that's when I really realised I wasn't competent to treat people's medical problems today. I didn't even manage to dress myself this morning! It's not quite as bad as it sounds, as I did have a singlet on under my shirt, but I felt very, very self conscious and embarrassed. I started to worry that if the medical director noticed, he probably thinks I am not only stupid, blonde and vague, but some kind of hairy non bra wearing person also. I proceeded to go to my car and I hopped in the car and started driving out of the car park. Which is when the door of my car swung open because I'd forgotten to shut it when I hopped in the car.... I started to have some serious doubts about driving the 40 minute drive home at this point, because it seemed I hadn't been lying when I told someone earlier that I thought my brain may have been replaced with cotton wool. The good news is I have made it safely home, where I think I will stay put and try not to talk to any important people, until my brain returns from wherever it is visiting.

Matt's Birthday Dinner

Well the home made pasta was very yummy. I couldn't quite help myself and varied slightly from the "italian sausage and fennel with fresh pasta" by adding some roast lamb as well (it was in the fridge, how could I resist?). It turned out to be quite yummy. By the time dessert came we were too lazy and too full to make chocolate soufle. We will probably have some tonight. In response to Suze - it is actually quite easy to make chocolate soufle, and it's a good dessert to just "whip up" (picture bec talking to matthew in the kitchen while he makes the dessert, I find that easy) as we generally have the ingredients (egg, sugar, chocolate and rum/alcohol) lying around.

Tonight I am looking forward to another yummy meal. I have cut up left over roast lamb, combined it with onion and parsley, and we will make ravioli with it. Not sure what sauce we will do with it - either a yoghurt, garlic and mint sauce or a creamy rosemary sauce. I can't wait to get home and have dinner. I am quite hungry. Mostly because I am too lazy to go buy food, so I am just having one of those instant cups of soup for lunch.

It was one of those lovely days to stay in bed this morning, and I felt very sorry to not be able to oblige. The entire drive to work was shrouded in mist - and I wished instead of being in a car on a busy road, that I was walking through a forest. Then I arrived at work and have been busy up until now. Now I'm supposed to be in theatre, but I opted with only going to the operations that they needed me at, not going to them all for educational purposes. I'm not sure my brain is in a place to be educated right now.

Well, I think I've bored everyone long enough, I will try and find something productive to do.

Happy Birthday Matt/Cecil

Well today is cause for celebration. It is my Matthew's birthday! I have bought him a pasta maker, complete with all the different shape thingy's and even a ravioli thingy! So tonight we are going to have Italian sausage and fennel with freshly made pasta!! And chocolate soufle for dessert:) Yum! I have been looking forward to the whole fresh pasta scenario! It gives Matthew a good excuse for having to go to the special flour store a lot more often if we have to make our own pasta. Anyway, I will get back to the birthday boy. I will be sure to put up a post about how the pasta worked out.

Prayer For Wisdom

I am in a desert
I need wisdom
It is the water
That can quench
That can quell
The uprising
Of flighted insects
Within me
Make this meaningful
I do not wish
To play the jester
The fool
Take me forward
To the oasis

It is the Let Go

Contemplatively
I stare at the pixels of white and black
Trying to make sense of the symbols I hack
Carefully I choose
At framing an appropriate response to you
Trying not to be cruel, but wanting to be true

Inwardly sighing
I'm wondering for what it is I'm striving
As I try untangle all your contriving
My hand unfurls -
Empty as I suspected, it is the let go
Masking disappointment, I let you know, I know

It's not asthma

I know I said I would not do medical rants. But here it is.  Yesterday started out as a very shit day.  In the little "non urgent" jobs book, somebody had written: overnight patient tachycardic (fast heart rate), dropped sats (not getting enough oxygen), SOB (short of breath) - please R/V (review).  Little alarm bells started ringing in my head.  In their defence, they had gotten the night resident to review the patient.....  He listened to her chest, the patient had a wheeze, and he gave the patient ventolin (at just under 100 years of age, he didn't seem to disturbed that someone would develop "asthma" for the first time).  At 6.30am, nobody is at their best.  I understand that.  I am sure I have made a lot of bad calls when I'm in that state.  However it left quite a big mess for me to clean up this morning.
 
You see I interpreted things a little differently.  I interpreted a sudden onset of SOB, decreased sats (85%), increased blood pressure in a patient with no history of asthma who was just under 100 years of age and had dementia so was not likely to verbalise chest pain, as more likely to be an MI (heart attack).  So I went and saw the patient: clammy, wheeze and creps in lungs, not complaining of chest pain.  And thought - MI and pulmonary oedema (fluid on lungs). Which meant I had to run around doing bunches of stuff. Getting ECGs, bloods, chest xrays, trying to convince nurses the patient needed 6L of O2, trying to put a drip in to give the patient frusemide, writing up aspirin, trying to get a med reg to RV her, contacting the family to see if they want the patient NFR (not for resus). And yes, indeed, troponin 0.12. The patient has had an MI. Yes the patients chest xray even after frusemide showed pulmonary oedema. In a not surprising event, at just under 100 years of age the patient had not developed new onset of asthma. Once the patient had the frusemide, the patient started to look a lot better, and was even eating lunch when I came and saw the patient later. Oh, and despite the patients comorbidities and the patients age, and four conversations via phone - the family want full active resuscitation (me saying "are you sure you want us to jump on the patient's chest to do compressions, cracking the patient's ribs, which will probably pierce the patient's lungs that will require the patient having a tube in the patient's chest and cause the patient a lot of pain for the few days it might prolong the patient's life for before the patient still dies anyway?" did not deter them). It is absolutely their choice, but I have to wonder who they're doing it for. Their decision is supposed to reflect what they think the patient would want in that situation, not their own desires and confusion.

Anyway, because the resident has been away on the other ward, my afternoon was taken up with me doing admissions there, while on my own ward, for some reason the nurses all handed over that I had gone home for the afternoon. They were very surprised when I came by to check on the sick patient and to take a 12 hour troponin.

No more aged care... I'm back to Obs and gyn next week.

For the sake of it

Well I haven't blogged for a while. Mostly I just haven't been using the computer so much. For some reason I decided to put up a post just for the sake of it right now. I can't even do a long one, as I am about to leave for work and I don't want to be late. In some exciting news, Matt's parents have lent us a scanner:) I am still learning to use it. I will put up a photo I took of a butterfly, which unfortunately, I scanned with way too much contrast. When I have time to fix that, I will, but for now here is my first attempt at using the scanner.

Good food, Labour bus

Yesterday, Matthew woke me up at 1pm because Karen and Matthew were thinking of going to the Yarra Valley. So that's what we did. I slept in the backseat of the car, and we drove to the Yarra Valley and went to De Bortoli winery. However, I did have to go to work that night, which did somewhat impede my winery experience, and automatically made me the DD. However I did sip the wines a little, especially when Matt and Karen went for the sticky experience (which involved trying their Noble one, a young port, a 21 year old port, a muscat and the black noble - I think). I also did some cheese tasting, of which I really only enjoyed the soft goat cheese marinated in olive oil. I usually enjoy mature cheeses, but rather than having that sharp taste they had more of a "what kind of vomit is that" taste.

Next we decided to go for a drive through the Dandenong ranges. This seemed like a particularly good idea as I work at the bottom of the Dandenongs and I've never been there. So we went for a touristy drive, which we ended at Credo. Credo is a little restaurant in the Dandenongs, with an excellent menu and very delicious food. We sat at a little table a few metres from the blazing fire. Karen and I ordered the grilled swordfish with dill butter. It came on a bed of slow-roasted eggplant and capsicum. YUMMM. More delicious was what Matthew ordered.... Grilled Kangaroo fillets on a bed of mashed sweet potato with a red wine jus. (these were both from the specials menu, which meant I couldn't go get the official description from the Credo website).

I was pretty full after that, but dessert was ordered.... Who knew I could enjoy apple strudel that much - the pastry was just the perfect thickness and crispiness and freshness. I just can't expain how good it was. We also shared a Chocolate and raspberry bread and butter pudding, which was also utterly delicious but very very rich!

Following the meal something rather depressing occurred. I was dropped at work. Work was fine (just little mindless jobs), until 5am. I'm fairly sure someone must be running a bus service to the delivery suite - why else would everyone arrive at once? Four patients arrived (on top of the two we already had going) - two primips (women who haven't had a baby before) with SROM (spontaneous rupture of membranes), not doing too much; two multis (women who have had babies before) on the verge of delivery (which is better then the night before when we had a lady brought in by ambulance with "baby born at home" - she must have missed the bus). Now between the three midwives and myself, we were quite outnumbered... Then we had the two multis and one of the earlier ladies about to deliver, at the same time... The two multis delivered consecutively - I had to run between them (the other lady wasn't really as on the verge as believed). Eventually after much to do (including a semi-ward round with a consultant for his two patients), we were able to try and get back to the two SROMs (one of whom had been there for maybe 1-2 hours without getting any admission obs) by which point it was almost time for the day staff to arrive. I only got one sorted before the day team arrived. I'd seen the other one and had written up an admission, but didn't have a plan yet as I couldn't find the midwife who had assessed her to find out what was happening. I hate handing jobs on - it makes me feel so guilty! Anyway, I was just happy we managed to have people in the room for the deliveries.

I know recently I've had a lot of posts about my work, and I will try to cut the boring medical stories in the future. I just needed an outlet while I was on nights, hopefully it will stop now that I'm not on nights.

Waiting for the Beep-Beep

I am here again
Unsure how to lie down
How to rest
Wishing I could just let go
Into the oblivion
Of unconsciousness
But superstitiously
I'm afraid to commit
Sure that by the very act
Of believing in sleep
I am inviting disaster

Smile A Rented Smile

"Dreams are not enough to win a war
Out here they're always keeping score
Beneath the tan the battle rages
Smile a rented smile, fills someone's glass
Kiss someone's wife, kiss someone's arse
We do whatever pays the wages"
------ Sunset Boulevard - from the musical Sunset Boulevard

Isn't it funny how much a song about someone sleeping with someone else for money reminds me of being a doctor? I often find myself singing this as I travel to and from work.

Waiting for the other shoe to come down hard

(Title stolen from an Everclear song "out of my depth")
******WARNING CONTAINS LOTS OF MEDICAL JARGON********* --> I'm just too tired to make it easier for the non-medics.

This is a tale of how one would rather not have night duty start. You walk in and get your handover, all the while wondering who the strange man sitting in the nurses station is. You read his name tag, Oh great, he's the new consultant you haven't met yet. You introduce yourself, and try to subtly ask why he's there (he's not on call, and according to the board - none of the patients are his). Bad answer. The trial of scar with the poor CTG trace is a GP Ob pt, but this doctor saw her once in clinic because they were a trial of scar. He's here instead of the oncall obstetrician because the oncall obstetrician wanted to transfer the patient to a bigger hospital. Mmm.... Not a good start. Instrumental delivery follows. 4th degree tear - I organise theatre, call an aneasthetist etc. Bub has temp, tachypnoea, tachycardia (at night O&G covers paeds as well, so this is my problem). Bugger. I ring the paediatrician. He gives me a few instructions. Before I hang up, a midwife asks to speak to him. I didn't know the other lady had delivered. Turns out, bub#2 is not doing so well, that's my job again. I go to the SCN. Bub took 20 minutes to pink up. Bugger. Mmm.. Bub's in 85% O2. I now have to wonder what the paediatrician actually knows about this child, as i haven't spoken to them. I call them. Just keep going he says. Lovely.

Another midwife comes and gets me. They need you in theatre now. Super, bye bye sick babies. Even though he doesn't need me, I'm scrubbing in for my "educational benefit". He seems a nice consultant, I don't mind. We're 3/4 the way suturing up... Are the lights supposed to do that? I mean it's nice we still have the overhead spotlight, but why are all the other ones gone and the computers off? The generator kicks in.... for a moment... then it quits again.... Then the lights come back on... for 10 minutes... then they fail again... then they're back *deep breath* they stayed back. It feels so much safer to be in a hospital that has electricity. Consultant mumbles something about how this is Australia, this shouldn't be happening here - too true (although it's better then the time at the PAH when the generators failed to kick in for 15 minutes and people had to be ventilated by hand).

I come back upstairs. Bub#2 is having a few problems, can't get adequate O2sat readings from the monitor. SCN nurses trying to wean down the O2 by sight. They want me to call the paediatrician again. I call him. The minute I'm on the phone the sats monitor starts to work. They're happy. He says continue. Mmmm.. Resps are 80... they were 44 before... That's okay he says, the sats are okay.
Chat with the midwife for a few minutes. Come here to write this entry.

The entry got saved as a draft as I got paged away again. The title is no longer relevant. The other shoe has dropped.

Bub#2 now has developed some further signs of resp distress (grunting, recessions, tachypnoeic, nasal flaring) and O2sats aren't as good. I call the paediatrician: Please come and assess this baby, we are no longer happy with it's condition. He's a lovely man, of course he will come and assess the baby. Good. We keep it in oxygen.

I go to labour ward to assess and antenate with a problem that has nothing to do with her pregnancy and should really be dealt with in emergency. However the policy is that they come straight to us on delivery suite if they're pregnant, regardless of how irrelevant the complaint is. I get the lowdown from the midwife, then I walk in and introduce myself to the patient. A midwife immediately runs in and says "you're needed in SCN urgently". bugger. I half-run down the hall. Bub#2 is bleeding from the mouth and nose. I'm not a paediatrician, but this doesn't seem to be a good sign. It stops, well that's a good start. The nurse reports the initial bit was a spurt related to crying. She's concerned bub's about to have a pulmonary haemorrhage (secondary to the hypoxic insult at birth). The level of her concern was made obvious to me when she started getting all the intubation equipment out "Just in case we have to call a paediatric MET". I ask how far away the paediatrician who is on his way in lives - "a long way". They ask me to remain in the nursery until he arrives - just in case. We do everything in our power to keep baby calm - we're all thinking if bub cries this is going to be a very bad night. Paediatrician arrives, I have to go back to the ward to assess the pregnant people.

I sort out the lady with the unrelated to O&G problem - admitted to the ward. Meanwhile a VBAC arrives. For some reason I'm not really allowed to see her (she has her special midwife coming in). I gently suggest to her midwife that it is policy that she have a bung. I am told to wait outside and they'll talk to me. I go get the IV trolley ready - she's getting a bung. I won't even mention the issues I had trying to get the appropriate people notified. I put a bung in. The woman wants her midwife, I get her and leave. Baby born.

*insert filling out dull paperwork for a bit*

I swing by SCN, paediatrician is explaining to mum that an xray has showed HMD. We're keeping bub here. There has been no further bleeding and I think we're putting it down to "it happens", but I'm not sure.

I slowly plod back to the HMO room to finish this blog entry.

*sigh* I blame myself. I told matthew I would be okay to drive home after this shift so long as I got some sleep. I told him I'd already seen my quota of pts in the first two nights, so I thought tonight would be a nice one. Really could I be anymore dumb?

I am walking through the haze which is 3am. Wishing I had a single thought in my head. But I don't. Who would want to get sick, or go into labour between 3am-8am? It is silliness. It must be the most dangerous time of the day to become unwell. I can barely string two words together, let alone consider what's wrong with someone. My notes in patient's charts become more and more retarded. I forget to write in parts of the examination which I did.... important little details. I sit at the computer thinking "I should get some rest". But my legs are unwilling to assist in the plan - the couch is at least 3m away from where I am currently sitting. Soon someone in the team of my organs will force a migration. There is a calling stronger than sleep that I can't ignore. Perhaps after I go to the bathroom, I will lay down - just for a minute. In the meanwhile, I shall fill the world with more meaningless words. Please everybody else do the same - night duty is very boring if you don't all update your blogs every 5 minutes.

Hope

I scrambled through
The spaghetti connections
Within my brain
To find the answers
But they were not among
The flowers I had gathered

So I ran to the warmth
Of my hearts pumping
As it palpated its way
Through a million scarlet coins
To see if somewhere there
Lay what I was seeking
I came up empty handed

And I dug deeper
To a place overgrown
With the cobwebs of indifference
To search in the attic
Of my soul
Amongst the dregs of my life
And there I saw a glimmer
A hope

The Great Ocean Road

Matt and I have been off on a bit of a drive and overnight camp along the great ocean road. We first drove to Logans beach via the inland road. There we stood on a whale watching platform until we saw the southern right whale. My first wild whale experience - there were surfers out there in the freezing water, and it looked like fun - apart from the freezing bit. We then drove out along the great ocean road, stopping to photograph every bit of cliff we could.... By the time we got to the 12 apostles (or the 8 that remain) we were almost over pretty cliff rocks. Will take us a fair while to actually develop the black and white films, and then I'll only be able to get them up here if I manage to get my hands on a scanner - which I am working on.

After this we camped in Otway National Park. Which is somewhere I could spend a lot more time. There are lots of great walks and things to see, and it was lovely. Best done in winter, because there were hardly any people there - which was nice. We did a few of the walks before we had to keep going on the great ocean road back to Melbourne.

The picture here is the business card of where we stopped for lunch. Very yummy flathead fillets and chips and greek salad! We had to get their card and put a picture here for Matt's parents.... we felt it was in keeping with the spirit of stopping at places like "Sexy Coffee" on the sunshine coast.

We rushed back to Melbourne in order to get to someone's house to watch State of Origin. An adrenalin packed game as the video ref did his best to help the blues by making completely outrageous calls. Despite his best efforts though, queensland came through:) Very exciting.

This is a kind of dull post for what has actually been a lovely few days, perhaps I will write something better later. Have lots on my mind at the moment as am trying to choose which GP practices to work at next year..... *sigh* I hate this time of year, doing resumes, finding references etc.

The Only Thing Left

It never ends
This charade of yours
The lies you tell
To colour me
Words I say
Are twisted round
Through the filter in your brain
No matter my intent
You hear the negative
The world's not out to get you
The world's not out to get you

You look to everyone
You look to your disease
Saying everyone has control
Over you but you
But don't you see
You're the maker
The maker of your demise
You're the only one
Who makes you, you
We didn't do it
We didn't do it

Responsibility
Must find a home
Somewhere in your mind
You have to look inside
And say "it's up to me"
Instead of looking
For the magic bullet
To make your world
Somewhere you want to be
It's up to you now
It's up to you now

The only thing left to change is you

Black Book

Tonight there are things I wish I could share, but I don't have what I need. I don't have the heart or the technology. Who would understand anyway. Even if your eyes had seen what I've seen. Even if I could put those things here. Even if you'd been by my side. You would not have had the same experience I had. Because none of us are starting at the same baseline. So when I look back, when I see the evidence preserved. When my emotions rise and I think "I wish I could share these things", I now realise it would be a false hope, a hope that I could replicate in your heart, what is in mine. So I will stop sighing for a scanner, so I could share the dark corners with you all, for the dark corners would merely be absorbed.

Dinner

Well Becky said I should chat with people online, but according to skype, nobody I know is online:( So here is a photo from when Matt and I were on a weekend away once.... We chased the fly into the spider's web so that the spider wouldn't go hungry.

caterpillar

This is a photo of a caterpillar that we found on our veranda in our old flat in Brisbane, feeling bored so am posting some pictures.

My Beautiful Weeds

The Art of Never Learning

Disappointment
Floods through
The let down
The inevitable
Result of unsatisfactory exchanges
With humanity
What do I do?
When time after time
There is this -
The empty goblet
As once again
Words and actions
Are mismatched

I cannot give up
I must
Time after time
Set myself up
For disappointment
Each time
It must be unexpected
Or the world
Appears too dark
If I'm always believing
I'll be let down by you
I must be careful
Not to learn
From experience

"How to Kill your husband (and other handy household hints)"

Once again the title of this post is stolen - it is the title of a book which I have not read, but has always intrigued me, because it sounds like such a good title. I did consider buying it for my sister as her wedding present, but in the end wasn't sure it sent the right message. Anyway, sometimes I find it's not about how to kill your husband, but why you might want to.

On Thursday Matt and I decided to go to Healesville Sanctuary. This was for two reasons: Firstly we can get in for free because we're members of the Zoo and we'd never been; Secondly they have a birds of prey show, and I love birds of prey. So I got out of bed at about 9 and by about 12 we were on our way. A little later than intended but what can you do.

On the way to Healesville sanctuary (it's a long way from our house), we faced many, many tantalising distractions, winery sign after winery sign flashed past us. Vineyard after vineyard flooded our vision. But we drove on. Strong and determined.

Than there was a sign that couldn't be ignored "Yarra Valley Dairy". The car steered itself left and before we knew it we were at a dairy. There we obtained some bread from the lady at the front and went and fed two very cute goats. They had a most delicious range of goat's cheese, not quite as delicious or well priced as the old goat farm up at Kennilworth, but perhaps the next best thing. They also had.... CLOTTED CREAM. It's true, I will not have to move to England to enjoy scones the way God intended: With the cream underneath the jam. You see I've grown up with light fluffy cream that goes on top of the jam, which I always found a bit disconcerting. When I was in England in the Cotswalds having Devonshire tea I discovered it wasn't supposed to be that way. Ever since I have felt dissatisfied with my Australian tea and scones, that came with normal fresh cream.

However knowing we couldn't keep them cold all day, we bought some cheese to eat at the zoo and planned to come back afterwards in order to by our clotted cream. So we did the zoo in a whirl wind. Now the two things I really thought I might enjoy was the reptile show and the birds of prey show. So at 2pm we went to the reptile show, they did a goanna and a red-belly black snake before I had to move on to the birds of prey show at 2.30. The bird of prey show went something like this: Aboriginal style music playing in the arena..... whistling kite appears and does some aerial acrobats in the sky above us..... whistling kite disappears..... zoo keeper comes out..... zoo keeper assures us the bird is reliable and will come back.... man does a boomerang display for us..... man laughs at zoo keeper who is still looking for whistling kite..... zoo keeper explains to us that because birds of prey are territorial, they can't get any of the other birds out till they find the other bird.... end of birds of prey display. So we missed out on most of the reptile talk and the birds of prey talk.

Still the day was not a disaster. We went back to the dairy and we bought our cheese and our clotted cream.

We are now approaching the part of the story where I begin to develop homicidal feelings for my husband. Yesterday we were making a shopping list. I said "make sure we have what we need to make scones". At this point in the story it's important to note that due to matthew's bizarre flour beliefs, it is impossible for me to know what we have in the way of flour (imagine a pantry with: plain flour, bread flour, pasta flour, wholemeal flour, self raising flour, wholemeal self raising flour, rye flour, corn meal etc). He said "what type of flour do you use for scones?" I replied "whatever it is we usually use in damper", he said "self-raising flour, that's okay we have plenty of self-raising flour. If you'd wanted plain flour, we'd have had to buy some" (at this point he began an explanation about how high protein flours such as bread flour weren't appropriate to be used in scones).

This afternoon we finally decided today was the day. We would bake scones and have our delicious clotted cream and strawberry jam. So I began to measure out the self-raising flour for scones..... I was half a cup short.

At this point it is important to note that I am a reasonable, calm, level headed person, and that usually I tolerate mistakes quite well. However, this was not usual. Matthew hadn't said to me at the shops "nope I think we have self raising flour". We'd been at home, with him looking in the cupboard when he'd reassured me (plus I'd endured flour science talks). So, I sort of, well, lost the plot. I discussed quite calmly at the middle of my voice range (which I have to admit is a fairly loud voice) how important it is not to give false information. And as flour flew everywhere while I gestured, and Matthew collapsed into fits of laughter, it all felt quite hopeless.

Luckily, I used my genius powers of math, to adjust the milk in the recipe and finish making the scones. By which point I was quite exhausted from my energetic explanations to matthew on how important it was that we both try and make the marriage work (him by being able to tell me what kind of flour one might require to buy at the shops, me by not putting plastic bags in the sink which is his pet hate and what I threaten to do every time he does something I find slightly annoying). So I sat down at my computer to start writing this post while Matthew put the scones in the oven (he's trying to tell me now that he also did a few other things like clean the table, put the tea on etc).....

After a while I got a call from Matthew to ask if I thought the scones might be ready... So I went to the oven in order to check on them, which is when I noticed that Matthew had used the fan-forced oven and hadn't reduced the temperature. I used my very special "Calmly talk to the patient who is driving you crazy" voice as I explained to him that as previously discussed on many occasions, you can either use the oven at the 200C the recipe calls for, or use a fan forced oven at 10-15C lower than the required temperature. That while I was sure the scones were looking nice and brown from that fan-forced oven, I wasn't convinced the inside would be done. As my explanation got more and more repeated and convoluted, Matthew once again dissolved into unexplainable, misplaced laughter (some of you who have studied psych will know non-congruent laughter is part of mental illness).

We took the scones out and tested the centre. They were still sticky. So we turned the oven down and put them in for 5 minutes. Despite all Matthew's effort across the afternoon, the scones turned out perfectly. We sat down with our cup of tea, our fresh hot scones, our clotted cream, our strawberry jam, and we had ourselves a lovely civilised afternoon tea.