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earthkissed

Just me and my thoughts, most of them silly.

Name:
Location: brisbane, queensland, Australia

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend. Sometimes I am good at these things, sometimes I am not.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Cuscutlan

There is a song by Frente called Cuscutlan that I have been listening to a lot lately (well it's cuscutlan or cuscatlan, can't work out which spelling is correct). Despite it being an old song, it's lyrics have just seemed really relevent lately. Cuscutlan is what El Salvador was called before it was conquered and it is a song about that takeover and what's happened in El Salavador (Frente are Australian, I can't quite remember why they wrote a song about Cuscutlan). Despite the age of the song, I quite like the music, and I recommend having a listen to it if you can. Here are the lyrics:

***Cuscutlan*** by Frente
i love my country
but it wears a uniform
it speaks with foreign guns
in the background you can almost hear
the sound of intervention

and i don't know when liberty fell
but we rang every mission bell
we rang them loud and clearly
to a world that wouldn't listen

i don't want to die
i'm as innocent as anybody
i don't even know how to spell
revolutionary
jesus in the sky
the bullets in the guns
you don't even know what we
mean by repression

blood is the colour of the sunset
you walked into the darkness
i did not hear your last breath
there will not be an inquest
this is not human interest

we danced the dirt with
surrender for our drumbeat
we danced for the balance sheet
died for the kind of lasting peace
that pleases the world policeman

and fatherland raped motherhood
and told her it was for the global good
and now we ring the mission bell
to warn their children

and i don't want to die
i'm as innocent as anybody
i don't even know how to spell
revolutionary
jesus in the sky
the bullets in the guns
you don't even know what we
mean by repression

blood is the colour of the sunset
you walked into the darkness
i did not hear your last breath
there will not be an inquest
this is not human interest
*******************************

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Oxygen Thieves

Sometimes you can't help but feel that the whole world is made up of oxygen thieves. People who's stupidity interferes enough with your own interests that you start to wish they weren't using your oxygen. When you're sleep deprived and working hard through the night without really taking a break, a lot more people can start to seem like they fit into this category.

Take for instance a small issue I had with getting an xray on a pt that I really wanted one on reasonably quickly. There is a box in the ED that you put all your xrays and bloods in, and the ward support collect them all and take them to where they ought to go. I put my xray slip in there. Later on I tried to check the xray on the computer, but it wasn't there, so I went to the box and everything had been taken but my form. I thought it was odd and when someone put some other things in there, I put my xray on top so that they could see it. When I came back, everything was gone but my xray form. This made me pretty agro, but I decided the only thing to do was to walk the form to xray myself. So I did. When I got to xray I asked the man there where I should put the xray slip. He said there's a box in emergency for them, you should put it there. This seemed rather absurd to me (on a previous occasion when I was paeds the xray man had made me walk an xray slip back to the ED because he wouldn't take it from me) because all that would happen is ward support would have to walk the xray slip to the xray department and give it to the same man. I was not going to take the slip back round to the ED, that was STUPID STUPID STUPID. It makes no difference if I hand him the slip, or if ward support does! So I said "I'm aware of the box, the slip has been there for an hour, everything else keeps getting taken, but my xray slip gets left behind, I just need this xray done". And he said "okay, why don't you ask ward support to get the pt round, I can do the xray now". So it's not like he was busy, he just didn't want the form *GRRR*

Then I had to go get the ward support to take the pt round to them. It was very tempting to ask ward support if there was something wrong with my xray slip that they felt they couldn't take it round to xray, but I resisted. Getting oxygen thieves talking only increases their rate of oxygen thieving and really doesn't tend to help with whatever you needed. So then ward support pushed a wheelie chair around for a bit and then went and got my pt and took them to Xray. Not sure what was so fascinating about the chair, but it was.

Another offputting event is when you walk into a room and are greeted with an angry "are you the doctor?" and when you say yes, they go into a tirade about how they've been here for 6 hours. Honestly people what did you think? That I've been sitting around watching TV and having tea and biscuits and generally enjoying myself? That's unlikely. I've been working hard, seeing patients at the fastest rate I can (unless it's 7.30am when I'm trying not to get caught up in seeing new patients right before home time as that will make me later getting home, so I'm just tying up loose ends from all the patients I've seen over night). And I've been doing all that at a time that was supposed to be for sleeping - night! So get over it. If you want to be seen fast, go to a GP, call in one of those overnight locum service doctor people that will help you in the middle of the night - PAY FOR IT.

Grumpy Bec. I shouldn't blog after night shift before I go to bed, I'm too tired.

Friday, August 25, 2006

At this moment

My right foot tingles I have been sitting too long in this position, crosslegged as always, no matter where I am sitting. This was the bane of my mother's life, "sit properly at the table" a phrase I heard, but never seemed to penetrate my memory, because I needed to be told every time I sat at the table. It's not just my foot that's uncomfortable I realise. There are goosebumps on my arms indicating that the temperature is a little too low for comfort. Then my body as if to remind me of it's traitorous behaviour is racked by coughing and I am suddenly aware of all the little muscles that fill the spaces between my ribs, they're a bit tired of all the coughing and the whole thing has become a bit painful. A steaming mug has been placed next to me by someone who is kinder than I am. I wrap my fingers around it and enjoy the too warm feeling it gives them, before I have to pull them away because it really is just too warm. I try to inhale what I know to be the comforting aroma of double happiness green tea, but alas, I can't breathe through my nose. I take a sip and enjoy the feel of the tea burning down the back of my throat and into my stomach. And for some reason, as I am experiencing all this, I type it on my keyboard and watch strangely fascinated as my thoughts are emptied onto a computer screen, leaving my head vacant.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Swimming in Cider

Woops, I just had a bit of a cider accident that resulted in me sitting crosslegged in a rather large puddle of cider. Unlike what it sounds like, I wasn't even drinking. Matt and I were bottling our latest home brew (our should be interpreted to mean that it belongs to both of us, not that I made it) and he was filling the bottles (glass bottles) and I was banging on the lids. If you've never done that, it means you get the metal lid on top of the glass, and hold this thing that holds it in place and you hammer the end of it until the lid is firmly on. Apparently I was hitting a little too hard, because as I banged with a hammer on the top of the cider bottle, I suddenly was sitting in a puddle and the side of the bottle seemed to have broken away.... Matt was distressed because he seemed to think breaking glass bottles with hammers is a dangerous activity. I am now distressed because at the end of bottling all our cider, we now have the horrible task of picking up all the junk on the floor and vacuuming and washing the floors. Not that I particularly mind this task, but we've already sterilised (yes I mean it, cleaning removing all items from the bench, and sterilising) the kitchen today (because Matt is particularly paranoid about keeping germs out of his homebrew) and I'm kind of over cleaning. Anyway... I'm just procrastinating. I've done my idea of cleaning which is to make piles on the floor, you know the kind - this is for the rubbish, this is for the wash, this belongs in the kitchen, this belongs in the bathroom. Now Matt's taking the piles to where they belong.

Well I better go help him *sigh*

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A whole week

It's been a whole week since I was here blogging. In that week I have been in Brisbane visiting as many people as I could fit in. For some reason this involved also fitting as much food in as I could (visiting some of my favourite restaurants and friends houses). Now after two big weeks of eating, Matt and I have resolved to go on a week of salads for dinner (Matt has resolved to eat salad for dinner for a month, but I don't think our salad repertoire has that many salads in it). Now Matt and I have a slightly liberal view on what may classify as salad, so yesterday night it was a "thai beef salad" (it's in inverted commas because it was a vaguely thai style salad with beef). Tonight we went to a Japanese restaurant and had sashimi and whatever it is they call it when you have practically raw beef (both came on lettuce and is therefore salad - esp as we ate the lettuce) - at any rate it all seemed healthier then the amount of food we have been eating. Not sure how many more days we can keep it up for though.

At any rate, I will probably be living the entirety of next year somewhere near Nambour. Still undecided if I'll live in Nambour or at the beach. So everyone will have a free place to stay when they want to go surfing or fishing at the beach:)

In the two days I was not in Brisbane, but back home in Melbourne, I have been working in the short stay unit of the emergency department. I am quite over it. Hopefully this job will grow on me, as currently it's not rating too high.

Must go, have to watch Weeds. One of my favourite parts of weeds is singing along to the themesong at the beginning "Boxes little boxes, little boxes on a hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same" or something along those lines anyway.

I will endeavour to write more exciting updates next time. At the moment I'm a little under the weather and it's hard to think when your ears are blocked and you feel sure your brain has been replaced with cottonwool.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Exsanguinating

Your pale face
Enclosed warm eyes
You were soft and womanly
And made me think of mother earth
You reminded me of someone
Or an idea I have of someone
And I wanted to lay at your feet
And pour out my heart and life to you
But your face grew paler
And I don't know you
And when I hurt you
As I had to hurt you
You said sorry
When I walked away
My shoes left prints on the floor
Red prints
Made of your life
Your pale face still fills my mind's eye
My picture of mother earth
Now personified

Monday, August 14, 2006

A lovely week

Well I have just had a lovely week. I will shamelessly be plugging the place we stayed during our ski trip - Brumby's Run. It is currently being run by Coby and Barry, although may not necessarily continue to be so. It is about 40 minutes all together from the snow and it is a lovely B&B set on a rural property of something along the lines of 60 acres (I think). You drive down the drive way which is lined by trees and parrots (crimson rosellas, king parrots, swift parrots) scatter before you. These parrots continue to fly around the yard the whole time you are there. You are welcomed into a house at which one end is their private residence and the other end is a dining room, a lovely lounge area with a fire place that they keep going to just a perfect heat. There are four rooms available to stay in. The one we stayed in had a spa bath and it was lovely.

The best thing of all is Coby and Barry's cooking. We ate in almost every night except one. It was absolutely to die for. Freshly baked bread straight out of the oven with every dinner. Meals such as rack of lamb with homemade mint sauce, chicken in some kind of divine sauce, pork steaks with cranberry and apple, morrocan lamb, thai chicken pie. Each night these dishes would be accompanied by a different style of potato every night, and an array of fresh vegetables and salads. An example of a salad might be the salad that accompanied the chicken - lettuce, blue cheese, roast sweet potato, proscuitto, sundried tomatoes... Yumm. As for dessert (by which time you're fuller then you can imagine but lack the willpower to say no) - lemon meringue pudding, raspberry soufle, sticky ginger pudding, tiramisu. All this followed by complimentary tea, coffee or port. Each of these meals came out presented in a lovely professional manner (they used to own a cafe). Plus a lot of the time it was just me and Matt for dinner, so it was like your own private fancy delicious restaurant. A lot of the food was grown there on the farm. I won't even try to describe breakfast, it would all take too long

When Matt and I weren't skiing, we went for a few walks on the property where I saw an array of wildlife - big kangaroos, gang gang cockatoos, the afore mentioned parrots, satin bowerbirds (1 male and approx 3 females), fairy wrens. Plus of course the big bull and the cows. We also saw a lyrebird a few times when we were driving up to the snow.

After 5 days of skiing for some reason I said to Matthew perhaps on the Sunday that we weren't skiing, we'd like to go for a hike.... I don't know what possessed me. Once again the lovely folks at Brumby's Run helped us out by packing us a bit of a picnic set (we had some goats cheese from yarra valley, but they provided us bread, a thermos and the most delicious chocolate slice in the world). We did this little 6km return trek. Easy, I hear you say, I nearly died. I'm not the fittest person, I'll admit that. We got to the top of the first hill (just a straight up ungraded track beating through a bit of bush) and I was pretty knackered. I'd had to have a rest every so often during the walk up (just quick little stops to catch my breath). Anyway, we got to the top of this bit and I said to Matthew, well we're here, this is a nice grassy patch, what a great view, let's eat. Matthew gently tried to tell me that the track continued and he wasn't convinced we had done 3km. I was like, what do you mean that wasn't 3km (we'd probably been lucky to have done 1km but it really just went up and I was tired). Still after he read the description of the view (360 degree views etc) I had to concede we weren't at the top. So against my better judgement I continued. We walked along a mountain ridge that was up and down and occasionally a bit of effort but not too bad compared to the first part. What concerned me was what we seemed to be walking towards... from where I was it appeared to be a rockface that I was certain I didn't have the energy to get up. As we walked on and snow started to make some of the trail a little slipery, it became clear that we really were going to go up that rocky steep climb. And as I scrabbled up loose rocks, and then the last bit which was up a little rocky bit that required the help of my hands to get up, I cursed my pride that hadn't let me quit. Mostly because I couldn't imagine how on earth I was going to get back down. Still we got to the top and I did enjoy my lunch and the view of Mt Buller, The Bluff and other surrounding mountains. We could even keep our water cool in the tiny bits of snow that were left up there as we ate our goats cheese on bread. I think on the walk back Matthew got quite sick of me asking "why can't I see the car yet?" but importantly we did survive the climb down (although it was a little slow going). Needless to say I have blood blisters on the inside side of my feet (who knew my blue suede doc martens aren't the best hiking boots? They've always proven comfy before!) and every time I have to squat for any reason, I struggle to stand back up again.

In a few other amusing tales, I have been the subject of much mockery from Matthew. There was a small incident when I was driving and I said "There's a baby polar bear or something on the road in front of us..... Oh, it's a sheep". Now I'd like to point out that from a distance polar bears and sheep are both fluffy and white, and I did say a _baby_ polar bear. However these arguments had no effect on Matthew who thought that seeing as we were surrounded by cows and sheep on every side, that it made more sense for my first guess to have been a sheep, not a polar bear. My arguments that recently we had been skiing and surrounded by snow and that made me think of polar bears didn't actually seem to make an impact on him.

On the way home we stopped at a trout farm, just for a sticky beak. However after I had thrown a few pellets into the ponds and the trouts had come swirling to the surface in splashes of colour, I couldn't resist. I asked for a rod, and I had a go. However being unsure if I actually liked trout, I went for the salmon pond (a little more pricey - whatever you catch you buy by the kilo). And I caught a beautiful 1.9kg salmon. A bit of a silly thing to do when we're going away to brisbane. So we had fresh salmon in garlic and butter with lemon for dinner tonight, and we have frozen the rest for another time. The fresh water fish are a lot slimier then salt water fish, which makes them slightly less enjoyable to catch for me, but it was fun.

Anyway, I have to pack, I have an early flight to Brisbane tomorrow:) I may once again be absent from blogging for a bit, depending how busy I get in Brisbane.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

At the snow

Well I'm at the snow skiing. I have just popped in for lunch and I had to check my email as I was expecting something. I have 4mins left on the internet I paid for, so I'll make this quick. I am having a great time. The snow isn't that great, but I'm skiing, so that's all that matters. It did snow yesterday, and I found when there was poor visibility and not so many other skiers, I go a lot faster. I think I feel safer when I can't see what's coming. Matt thinks it ought to be the opposite. I think he found it a little worrying. There was this spot where you hit a total white out and you had to steer in the direction you thought the chairlift was.... Anyway, got to get back out there. Hope everyone is well. Will do a proper update when I can. Thanks to pitfinder and Jade for putting stuff in my inbox by commenting:)

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The last days of O&G

Well work the last two nights has kept me busy enough that I didn't get time to post on my blog either night. I am quite sad about that, as I wanted to get to work on my other blog, but right now I don't have the energy for it. I am tired. Work last night was exhausting. By 4am I was devastated to realise I still had another 4 hrs to go. We'd already managed to have a MET call (Medical Emergency Team - sort of a level before a code blue - means you need urgent assistance and a bunch of doctors run up from the emergency) on an FBC pt (family birth centre - meaning a midwife pt that I didn't have anything to do with until it was an emergency) for a PPH (post partem haemorrhage - that is after bub delivered, mum just kept bleeding) which had been stressful enough. By the time all the people arrived, I had already put in two large bore (16 guage) cannulas and she was starting to come good (yay, pt recovering consciousness). Then there was just the constant underlying stress of a CTG that looked a little flat and non-reassuring. I just wanted to go home.

The night before was probably a little better, except I had to deal with a bit of nonsense from emergency. Sorting out a patient they'd admitted under O&G but hadn't actually told me about, and when I went to see her she didn't actually have what they said she had and I had to sit down with the pt for ages sorting her out and counselling her. And it was a patient that should have been met at the door and sent home. Then it turned out because emerg hadn't handed the patient over to me (as in the doctor who saw her had gone home by the time I discovered I had a pt there - incidently I found out when my consultant rang and asked me about her and I looked dumb because I knew nothing), I didn't know the anaesthetist had been called in for the next day's unneccessary procedure. Which means I didn't ring the anaesthetist and tell him that it wasn't on because the patient was normal, which meant he turned up and he was the only one who did and he wasn't too happy (which I found out last night when my consultant rang me and said "you didn't cancel the anaesthetist - he came in for the procedure". I had to explain that I had no idea the anaesthetist had ever been told about the procedure.

NO more O&G! Holidays for two weeks:)

You live and learn. I won't be posting for a while - I'm going skiing:) I doubt I will have internet access. So everybody have a good week:)

Friday, August 04, 2006

Lamb shanks in orange sauce


I have woken up after night duty to find the house smells like you could just eat the air. I'm suddenly starving. Matthew has started cooking tonight's dinner already. Lamb shanks in orange sauce mmmmm. Here is the recipe for the interested:

Lamb Shanks in Orange Sauce
Ingredients:
1 tabsp oil
6 frenched lamb shanks (we're not having that many seeing as it's just the two of us)
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
strips of zest from 1 orange
250ml orange juice (we had oranges so we have freshly juiced orange juice)
375 mL beef stock (we made beef stock the other day with the meat for our chilli beef - very rich, concentrated stock - yum)
425g can chopped tomatoes
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon thyme (recipe says dried, but we have fresh thyme)
salt and pepper
mashed potato to serve on
instructions
heat oil in casserole dish or pan over a medium to high heat, brown lamb shanks, remove from pan.
Reduce heat to medium, add onions and garlic and cook for about 2 mins. Add orange zest, orange juice, stock, tomatoes, bay leaves, thyme, salt and pepper. Stir to combine. Bring slowly to the boil. Reduce to a simmer, then return shanks to the pan. Cover and cook for 2-2.5 hours until meat is tender. Alternatively, cover and place casserole dish in 180C oven and cook for 2 - 2.5 hours.
For a thicker sauce, remove shanks from the pan, bring the sauce slowly to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook until reduced by about 1/3. Serve with mashed potato.
-----

Honestly the sauce smells so good I just want to go into the kitchen and drink it! Matthew has made it clear such an action would be frowned upon. I really, really love food:)

Thanks to everyone for their birthday wishes, and to Rachem - Happy Birthday to you too:)

The photo is a picture of the picture of the lamb shanks as it appears in the recipe book:)

Happy Birthday Baby

The clock ticks over to the 4 August, 00:01. What am I doing? Using suction, I am delivering (with the help of one of the kind GP obs) a 4.9kg baby. 00:04 baby delivered. Tonight I have been well and truly and ickily christened.

I have gone three months of an O&G term without ending up with blood or liquor on my clothes (with the exception of a particularly messy caesarean where my shoes, although covered, were slightly adversely affected). I had a whole three shifts left. Now let me start by saying, I usually wear my hair up in a knot on the back of my head. On nights I have this mistaken belief that I might lie down, so I tend to wear it in a plait so that I can sleep without it irritating me. Big mistake. I'm bending down, pulling out an earlier baby, and liquor streams out the sides of it in a huge gush that takes the bottom part of my plait by surprise. This same liquor then leaked off the bed where I was leaning across to try and deliver the placenta, and on to my slacks. Grr..

Then when I was doing the delivery that marked the start of August 4th, as I was trying to deliver the placenta, a little bleeder pulsed blood in a nice little arc on to my shoe and foot. I delivered the placenta and excused myself. Took my shoe and sockette off and washed them both. My beautiful, beautiful spider shoes, of course the white shoes. Still the blood did wash off them quite well...

Now I'm tired and icky. I have delivered three babies tonight. And inbetween have been busy doing little errands (successfully bled a little 6mo, thought I might have forgotten how, but I didn't).

I have been going non-stop pretty much since I got here 8 hours ago. I stopped and had a glass of water once because I was just desperately thirsty. Now I am stopping and having a hot drink. I don't feel like there's much point to lie down, as I happen to know there is a patient in need of assessment on her way to the hospital. I am very, very weary.

Here is what I am humming in my head at the moment:
Excerpt from Every Morning by The Cranberries
"The morning sun is in my eyes
It doesn't hide the lines
It does not bare
A great disguise
Happy birthday baby
Happy birthday

Every morning
Every morning in time
we're doing fine
Every morning
Every morning in time
we're doing fine"

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Your Old Soul

Haven't sung this song before
Where my dreams lead me somewhere
Broken and hard to understand
But that I need to learn to care
Smiling at the lonely hope of tomorrow
So I can hope to understand your sorrow

Privilege a burden of grieflessness
Is the snow to white beneath my sun?
Can I hope my shoulder's firm enough?
Despite that it is new and just begun?
Sometimes sorrow makes you seem beautiful
I smile at what I see, my tears are dutiful

Can I show any expression to you?
A soul that seems as old as yours
Will surely scorn my scarless one
I've lived, hear me, I've lived scores
My smile runs deeper than sorrow's ravine
There is still more beauty than I have seen

New Project

Well thanks to my parents-in-law loaning me a scanner, I have finally got my new project underway. I have started trying to put up on the web the pictures and stories from when I went to Indonesia after the tsunami. It's pretty slow going, and so far I haven't got that far. There's a lot I can't remember after 1 year... Still if people are interested my new blog is up and running.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Returning Home


Well it's official. Next year I will be returning home to Queensland. :) It is most likely that the first 6 months of the year I will be at the sunshine coast, but after that, it's Brisvegas for me. GP land, here I come. There is much excitement in me:)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

War Trumpet

So you took them by the hand
And led them down the path
A garden lined by rose bushes
All thorns and flowerless
You promised them a journey
That would end in glory
Never mentioned the journey end
Would be the last breath at all

Somewhere you let go
Their hands fell all alone
Another garden, another one
Fed by blood and bones
Meaningless, meaningless
Is every violent seed
Scarring earth's sad face
With hatred's bitter weed