Tonight

Tonight I am sitting at my parents being the adult in a house with three sleeping babies and hoping none of them wake up. My sister's two have been asleep since something like 7pm. I have been trying to get Xander asleep since that time and finally an hour or so later he is asleep. Apparently my reward for him finally showing more then a passing interest in having solids is him refusing to breastfeed and having a stomach ache and arching and screaming. Honestly I don't know why I'm bothering with solids they're nothing but a pest.

More photos now.
What usually happens at night:


Or in the car:


This afternoon the boys played together:

Xander again

When Xander did start back on solids he decided to make up for it by having both spoons in his mouth at once






Finally asleep



He wanted to help with the washing, so into the backpack he went.

:(

My first forwards accident that was my fault.


My poor little golf.

Timelines

Today flies by with the usual parade of moments
That fill up almost every day
But my soul plods through it on a different timeline
Three years ago
This is around the time when I got the phone call
From a birds eye view, I see myself
In the office next to mine
Telling my boss, and breaking down
Suddenly I'm in the tea room
People bustling about, organising to drive me home
A cup of tea in my hands
I am driven to my house
I collect some things
I remember thinking I'd need something to wear for the funeral
Then I am driven home to Brisbane
The drive seems immeasurably long
Trees flashing by on the bruce highway
The ceaseless parade of life in front of me
Finally I am home
I make sure my receptionist knows the way back to Nambour
Then I am walking up the stairs
Heavy feet, heavy heart
I see my sister for the last time
Lying in her bed
I go and stand with my family
Clinging as they take her away
The day is a slowmotion blur
I didn't understand before this, that you could have both
Fragments of time and moments
The world buzzing in my ears
Glenys in the office, phoning people for us
Ben there
And then the endless parade
And family, all of us,
Grief
Days of Grief
Years of Grief
Memories
My soul is plodding through this timeline today
Over and over
The rest of the year when I remember
I remember her, her life, our life, our moments
But today, just today
I let myself walk through that day
Through her death

Success

Even managed to go back and edit the giant photo to a thumbnail. Hopefully I will be back on the blog horse. However it may be boring as i've become a bit obsessed with Xander.

Test3

Okay that photo was overwhelming. Let's try this editer program.

Test2

This time with pictures! Here Xander explores pumpkin as a facial product rather then a food. He has in fact decided solids are not for him.

Testing

There may be a series of inane posts as I test various apps for blogging to improve my track record!!

The Wonder

It was unexpected, the wonder you brought to my heart
Restoring that which was long lost to my childhood
And every day dawns new, when I see it through your eyes
Your excitement is contagious
In your flailing limbs and infectious giggles
And when you greet me with squeals of excitement
Nothing can be wrong with the world

photos

Xander (the one at the bottom is him wearing the japanese lunch carrier I made for Matt)
+ couldn't resist a photo of Rachem and Sally (hampered slightly by baby bump) belly dancing...

Shopaholic

How I became a shopaholic
#1 Get Pregnant
#2 Stop work
#3 Have super cute baby, hate housework, must travel, spend all time at shops
#4 Have iphone, spend rest of time surfing internet looking at cool things
#5 Join mother's group, find out about lots more cool things

Things i recommend:
1. Best baby carrier of all time (in my opinion) --> Maya wrap. This is a ring sling. All ring slings are not equal. I thought it was ridiculous that people thought that the material would make that much difference. It does. I looked at others, I bought the maya wrap over the internet, the handwoven cotton, nice and breezy, lovely. So superversatile, easy to use. I sold the first sling (peanut shell) I bought on ebay. It was not for me. Ring sling can be used all the way to toddler. Now that my baby is heavier, I'll admit, I use it for shorter carrying trips, and use my second favourite baby carrier (The catbird baby pikkolo) for longer trips.
2. THe catbird baby carrier pikkolo baby carrier. Are you detecting a pattern? Yes, I think carrying babies is an easy way to go. I find carrying him makes getting things done easier (Plus i can breastfeed in both these carriers which means I can breastfeed while I shop - got congratulated for breastfeeding in public the other day as this woman said she'd had people get up her for it - really? In this day and age!!! I'd have a field day if anyone tried that on me). THe pikkolo is a bit like an ergo, but less evil big company, doing ridiculous patenting tricks on things they didn't event. It also is simpler, less bulky, and more versatile (does inward and outward carry, back carry, front carry, hip carry). Comes in funkier patterns also. I have spent hours on the internet researching baby carriers. Hours. Hours and hours. I wanted them all.
3. Arms Reach Cosleeper. I couldn't sleep Xander actually in my bed, I would accidently roll over and smother him. But the cosleeper bassinet (I got the mini which is still nice size) attaches to the edge of our bed, and when he was little he slept right there beside me and all I had to do was roll over pick him up, feed him, roll over and put him back down again. Yay...
4. Australian Breastfeeding Association membership. I thought I was being a bit silly, but it's come in handy, and the book I got with it has heaps of things about expressing and etc that now that I'm back at work and expressing breast milk for Xander has been really handy.
5. My Avent breast pump. THe manual avant is brilliant, and the dual electric breast pump is also. I have now tried a different brand double electric breast pump, and am really happy with my choice. (which I ought to be as I did spend four hours on the interner researching it). Works really well. Is a closed system. Has enough suction. Fantastic.
6. Despite the baby carriers, the next one is my pram. Bugaboo Bee. Light (<8kg), narrow, one step fold, birth - toddler, wheels run so smooth, brilliant one handed steering, coffee cup holder.
7. to be able to put baby down when they are little it's good to have a swing chair and a playmat that has lights and music that activate when baby kicks. trust me!

Now we're moving into less important territory:
nappy bag - a whole new world easy change bag (cheapest from bambini pronto when on sale)
super cool family cushions (strawberry jam designs)
tripp trapp high chair (but buying all the baby bits separate a big money suck)
bubbamat for our tiled area (money suck)
glider chair (valco) - a little luxury for mamma
smartmom teething jewelry - actually that really is awesome
safe n sound compaq delux car seat. as recommended by choice
breast milk trays from aba store to freeze breast milk in
the lamaze moose
peter rabbit comforter toy
dvds to watch whilst breast feeding and recovering from emergency c-section
kiddy cot 3 in 1 playpen

what I am currently resisting:
avent combined steamer blender... WIll I make it? can I resist?

But it is my baby I love! Not the shopping. I just can't seem to help myself!!! But I'm stopping now. I really am. have everything I could possibly need (except an avent combined steamer/blender)

I will post photos soon, but xander is crying for a feed now.

EDIT ALERT:
How could I forget my kinderkot? the truly portable cot/tent so easy to put up an down.
Also my bambinoOz. My portable high chair device.