Timelines

Today flies by with the usual parade of moments
That fill up almost every day
But my soul plods through it on a different timeline
Three years ago
This is around the time when I got the phone call
From a birds eye view, I see myself
In the office next to mine
Telling my boss, and breaking down
Suddenly I'm in the tea room
People bustling about, organising to drive me home
A cup of tea in my hands
I am driven to my house
I collect some things
I remember thinking I'd need something to wear for the funeral
Then I am driven home to Brisbane
The drive seems immeasurably long
Trees flashing by on the bruce highway
The ceaseless parade of life in front of me
Finally I am home
I make sure my receptionist knows the way back to Nambour
Then I am walking up the stairs
Heavy feet, heavy heart
I see my sister for the last time
Lying in her bed
I go and stand with my family
Clinging as they take her away
The day is a slowmotion blur
I didn't understand before this, that you could have both
Fragments of time and moments
The world buzzing in my ears
Glenys in the office, phoning people for us
Ben there
And then the endless parade
And family, all of us,
Grief
Days of Grief
Years of Grief
Memories
My soul is plodding through this timeline today
Over and over
The rest of the year when I remember
I remember her, her life, our life, our moments
But today, just today
I let myself walk through that day
Through her death