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earthkissed

Just me and my thoughts, most of them silly.

Name:
Location: brisbane, queensland, Australia

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend. Sometimes I am good at these things, sometimes I am not.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Breastfeeding at 13 months

What does breastfeeding a 13 month old baby look like? Like messy messy business! But I don't know how else Xander would have gotten through his illnesses of the last few weeks, it was at times all he would take.




Almost summer















Monday, August 30, 2010

Imagination

I stand on the edge of my imagination
Uncertain what to dream for
And I dip in my big toe
To test the waters
The currents are still strong
And I must dwell here
So I wrap myself in reality
To steel my heart against these winds that blow
Tugging me in every direction
Awakening the unrealized child.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Lisa Loeb - Alone

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

30

Sometime earlier this month I turned 30 and I had this idea that I would write something that day on my blog. But life was busy and I didn't get there, so here is my belated turning 30 discussion.

I think a lot of people find birthdays worrying and milestones more so. At this point in my life I don't mind them. People seemed to expect I would be all like "oh no, I'm 30". The truth is, I'm quite happy.

I am completely and utterly blessed and grateful for the life I have and I am happier now than I was when I was younger. I have a wonderful family, a wonderful husband, a beautiful son, a job I enjoy, somewhere safe to live. I live in a country where I can go and vote and I'm dodging pieces of paper not bullets. Every year that I'm alive, I feel like life gets better. I don't resent turning 30, I just look forward to what's around the corner (so in a way it's like trying to find a coffee shop to stop at when you're with Matt and you're totally starving and you say "let's stop here" and he says "let's just check what's around the next corner, there might be somewhere better" and there's always another corner and then it's 30 minutes later, you've walked goodness knows how far and you're really hungry, too hungry to walk back to the place you found that you really liked and at any rate you eat the food to fast to know if it was good or not but that's another story and just one of those funny quirks of our relationship).

Balancing

Striving is an important factor in personal growth. If we never strive for something more, we do not grow as a person. But it is also a great source of low self esteem, depression and self delusion.

As I look around at my messy house, I am reminded that I tend to err on the side of happiness then personal growth. Rather then striving to become a tidier person, and in the process make myself stressed, tired, unsatisfied and unhappy, I make sure that Matt, Xander and I have time together and as much rest/sleep as I need. I perhaps in fact have taken it just a little too far. I really do need to do washing and tidy up, I should strive to have a better system in this regards.

However, today, instead of doing this, I did what I regularly do. I packed myself and Xander into the car and went to visit my sister in her nice clean tidy house. Why tidy mine when I can still enjoy the pleasure of a tidy house somewhere else?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Playing cars

In an attempt to make the pink dollhouse useful, Xander decided to play cars on it.

















Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Fish?

Just for you Sarah.



Monday, August 02, 2010

sewing project (or one woman's journey in raising the next generation of deeply psychologically scarred children)

I blame sleep deprivation, an ear infection and hormones. You know how one day you get a kind of weird idea in your head about how to solve a problem, and it seems really really reasonable, up until you've actually done it? Well if you read on, I think you'll see how easily such a thing could happen.

Xander is now 12 months old, he is still breast feeding which is fine, what is starting to be a little annoying is him feeling that he should sleep on his side with my breast between his hands, even if he's not actually breastfeeding (in fact he might have the dummy in his mouth, but cry until he has a breast between his hands to cuddle). Slightly more uncomfortable if we are not at home. I remembered that there was this person who made plush toys on the internet and that they made a plush breast to help weaning (found it years ago, just had a quick look and I can only see these freaky japanese toys that are breasts), I started to consider buying one. Then I thought about how Xander is actually not overly fond of furry things (oh how wrong it's all starting to sound already). I thought how it would be convenient to have something that I could slip into his hands instead of, well, me. Something that felt a little more like skin than a furry toy. I thought maybe satin and I thought how hard could it be....

After another week when the thought occurred to me again, I thought how seeing as he also likes to hold fingers, maybe the breast should have little finger like projections coming out the non nipple side (just two, I didn't want it to be tricky seeing as I can't really sew). So today I went to the shops and bought some silk satin materially stuff. In the mistaken idea that so long as I didn't buy it in pink, I could disguise what I was making. When I got there, I made the mistake of liking the brown satin, I do think blue would have been a better disguise for a breast, as after I made it, I realised there were in fact a great number of brown breasts in the world, and whilst it wouldn't be mistaken for my breast it certainly bore a slight resemblence to others....

At best the result looks like a disabled fish (I told Matt I might draw eyes on so that people thought it was supposed to be that) at worse it looks like a deformed breast with tentacles.
*sigh* when will I learn.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

I did nothing

How can I help you?
Neither of us know.
You don't even know if you want help,
but you keep telling me how hard it is.
I keep offering ways and choices
But nothing is right
And in the end you'll say
I did nothing
And all the hours will be thrown in my face
With the bitter taste of old hope lost