Time

Time is chaos
It closes in on me
And makes the world feel small
A month sails past
And I am
Right where I was standing
At the beginning
If life is a journey
Why aren't my feet moving
Why doesn't it ever feel
Like I'm gaining ground
Why do I feel like
Everything rushes past
At the speed of light
Whilst I
Stand still

Table 5

I tried to lose myself in lattes
Breathed in the caffeine
And slowed down my heartbeat
I opened the paper
Looked at the crossword
It feels like I'm meditating
When I'm in this space
I write slowly
Like time has no meaning
I breathe softly
Like oxygen is endless
And I can feel the world
Hovering on the edge
Of my consciousness
But I keep it there - at bay
I tried to lose myself in lattes
But in the end I had to stand
Leave table 5
And return to earth

StrawMan

I sat in front of you
And let my mind unfurl
I knew it was infinitely inadequate
You looked off thoughtfully
Tapped your fingers on the table
Said you'd help me put it back
But you're not sure if you're able

I'm not a strawman, you can't push it back inside
Believe me, I've picked up the pieces and I've tried

You sat in front of me
Clean, nimble and able
And I wanted just to sit and weep
For all that is not common
For what is let go and what is held
For all things, inside and outside
That thoughtlessness has felled

I'm not a strawman, you can't push it back inside
Believe me, I've picked up the pieces and I've tried

The yellow brick road's in front of me
But I refuse to see where it goes
Chasing dreams and promises
As hollow as the wind that blows

Not Blue

After all my singing and promises, the new bird is not blue. I went to pick up the blue bird, but the white bird (currently named peppermint - pepper or mintie for short) had so much more personality that I got over my "I don't like white indian ringnecks" thing and bought her instead. Oscar was sooooo excited!!! It was so funny. When he met her, he showed off heaps. We introduced them on the neutral territory of my arm and he did all of his noises and he held his wings slightly out from his body and any time she stopped showing him her full attention he pecked at her foot and when she looked at him - he started it all again:) I imagine there will be some jealous squabbling to follow, but that they will manage to come to some sort of arrangement. She is only young, but she's not going to let him push her around! This is a rare photo of Oscar taken with an actual camera (as opposed to the inbuilt hidden camera in the computer), because he bites you if you use a camera, but today even though he still looked at us grumpily he was distracted by pepper.

I'm a bad Mum

Well a week ago I had to do something I really don't like doing - I had to go to the vet and get my beautiful birds wings clipped:( You see he's taken into his head lately that when he's out he's going to fly into windows, landing amongst empty home brew bottles, or fly around crazily looking for somewhere to land until he's too exhausted to land properly. I have been quite worried for his safety. I felt very guilty. This is made worse by the fact that Oscar shrieked and shrieked the entire time the vet held him, and has been sulking and ignoring me ever since. He's a bird which is prone to sulking. He can still fly (which is what is supposed to happen) but he can't gain altitude instead he can flap down to the ground or the bench or from your shoulder to his cage. Oscar talks to everyone except me. When I get him out he looks at me, looks around and tries to gain someone elses attention (flying to the ground and walking to them if he has to). I have been giving him all his favourite treats and trying to entice him to love me again, but he is still sulking. I have taken him for walks outside, let him climb on the bean trallice (or however you spell lit) and everything. He is still sulking. But I have the ultimate bribary present coming his way. Matt and I have been talking about getting Oscar a friend for ages, and every weekend I go on a long search for a little Indian Ringneck friend for Oscar, and last week I found one, and this weekend coming up I'm picking him/her up. I am very excited. I think I spilt the beans though, as today I've been singing to Oscar:
"Hello little Oscar
I'm buying you a friend
She's twice the price she should be
Hope you love her till the end
Hello little Oscar
She looks just like you
In every way possible
Except that she is blue"

Carnivore

Being the carnivore I am, I recently went fishing with my brother and his three gorgeous children (the fourth is gorgeous too but too little for fishing as she is less then 4 weeks old). It was a very fun trip and we caught lots of fish that we had to let go because they were too small (Bream, whiting, estuary cod, flathead, moses perch). However I did catch a nice size whiting that I filleted and skinned and cooked with garlic and butter and it was very delicious. Today my brother went back to the same spot and caught a nice big flathead which they will be eating for dinner tonight.