Diseased

Yesterday I felt really, really exhausted all day. I could barely think. The med student asked me if I was sick and I said no. I was wrong. I got home yesterday evening, and my sinuses almost instantly clogged up and I felt like I'd had a few glasses of wine (which I had not!). I felt drowsy and flat. I had a cold and flu tablet before going to bed and hoped I'd be okay today. I woke up today, very reluctantly. I went and sat on the couch in front of the heater feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I had to go to work. Slowly, I pulled myself together and managed to get dressed for work. I downed some more cold and flu tablets and went to work. At work I felt kind of dizzy and a little bit out of it... This may be from my illness or the cold and flu tablets, I'm not sure. I was a bit disorganised, and it was slightly unfortunate that for the first time since I've been there, the medical director decided he wanted to do a ward round with me (even though he's not O&G). I made a slight fool of myself and then tried to explain that it was because I was drugged up with cold and flu tablets, but I'm not sure if that really helped. I started to think that I might go home a little early (it was only a 4hour shift and I was already 3hours into it). I went and talked to all the people on the ward, and I was talking to the paeds people about a neonate I was worried about when I realised something...... I'd forgotten to wear a bra to work (this was a personal discovery that I achieved quietly without saying anything). I think that's when I really realised I wasn't competent to treat people's medical problems today. I didn't even manage to dress myself this morning! It's not quite as bad as it sounds, as I did have a singlet on under my shirt, but I felt very, very self conscious and embarrassed. I started to worry that if the medical director noticed, he probably thinks I am not only stupid, blonde and vague, but some kind of hairy non bra wearing person also. I proceeded to go to my car and I hopped in the car and started driving out of the car park. Which is when the door of my car swung open because I'd forgotten to shut it when I hopped in the car.... I started to have some serious doubts about driving the 40 minute drive home at this point, because it seemed I hadn't been lying when I told someone earlier that I thought my brain may have been replaced with cotton wool. The good news is I have made it safely home, where I think I will stay put and try not to talk to any important people, until my brain returns from wherever it is visiting.