Dear agency nurse, you chose the wrong day
Dear agency Nurse,
You chose the wrong day to piss me off. Five days into night duty and I'm feeling fierce. Let me start by telling you, I've never yelled at a nurse or had a confrontation with them. For someone who loves confrontation, I am mild and friendly when at work. I like to please, I like to get along with people. For you I have made an exception. Let me tell you why.
You called me and began your conversation in an aggressive, rude, demanding and accusatory tone, you said "When you were up here you didn't write up the IV abs". I politely asked which IV abs you were talking about you said "Bed X" I said and who is that, you said "bed X" in an exasperated voice I said "What is their name" you said "Such and such". You accusingly said "It's written on the board", I asked you "Which board" you said in a scornful voice "You must be new" and I explained to you that all the doctors who do surg night cover are new because we work in emergency and only do one week of nights as surg night cover in that time. You angrily said "Well they would have told you in your orientation", I refrained from asking you what dream world you lived in that there would be an orientation for a doctor starting a job, and said "no, we don't get an orientation". You said "well there's heaps of jobs waiting here to be done" and I asked you "What jobs", you said "You'll see when you get up here" and I asked you to tell me what jobs there were and before I could finish my sentence, you hung up on me. That was a mistake. You should not have hung up on me.
I called the phone back straight away. You ignored it. I called another phone on the ward and your supervisor answered. I asked to speak to the nurse who called me. He questioned my motives, then went to find you. After a long time he came back and said you were too busy to talk to me. I asked him for your name, he asked me why, I told him you were rude and hung up on me. He said I could ask you for it when I came up. I said I wouldn't be able to find you if I didn't know your name. He told me your first name.
I came to the ward when I was available to write up the IV abs. I found you and asked if you had called me, you said no. I asked you if your name was Chris you said yes, and that you had called me about some IV abs a while ago. I told you that it was inappropriate and rude to hang up on people. You said "did you just come here to argue with me because I have things to do". I said "no I have come here to write up the IV antibiotics, but I would like to talk to you about how you behaved on the phone, I asked about the other jobs because I had to know if there was anything urgent". You said "The IV abs were urgent". I said you called me at 5.30 about IV abs due at 6, I am here before 6, they are not that urgent (what I didn't say: besides if they were given at 6.30 it wouldn't actually be the end of the world!). You walked away in a huff and ignored me trying to talk to you. That was a mistake.
I did all the jobs written on your %*&^ing board, except rewriting an entire med chart - that is a job for the day team.
Let me explain a few things to you at this point. I needed to know what jobs were on the board, not to be difficult, but because I have to triage my calls, I can't do that if you won't tell me what they're about. I am a fair person. If I have a problem with you, I go to you about it, not someone else. Unfortunately you wouldn't listen to me, and I'd had enough of this kind of shit. If you'd listened to me, we could have discussed it like two reasonable people. Unfortunately that would have required two reasonable people in the conversation, and apparently you didn't have the necessary qualities to be in that catergory (ie - reason). Therefore I did something I have not done before, I escalated.
I went to your supervisor I explained what had happened and I flatly said to him "if I ever spoke to a nurse the way she spoke to me and then hung up on them, they would instantly write an incident report, and I'd be in a lot of trouble". He said to me as you can see we're very busy and that's why she did what she did, and at any rate an incident report wouldn't get me anywhere. I said to him "We're all busy, I worked yesterday for 9 hours without getting a break, nurses always get their breaks, I don't". Your supervisor asked what it was I wanted. I told him that I thought you needed to apologise for being rude and inappropriate. He told me it wouldn't happen. He said "this is obviously a personal issue between you and her, I have no issue with her work". This is not personal, I don't know you, I only know how you treat people when you're calling them and asking them to do something.
I went back to the resident's quarters and discussed thing (ranted) with the other residents. They said I should talk to the nursing supervisor and do an incident report. I called you and asked for your last name, you asked me why and I told you that I thought your behaviour was rude an inappropriate. You told me your last name and said that you had been busy and I asked you too many questions. I told you that I cannot triage my pages if I don't know what they are about, and being busy isn't an excuse to be rude.
The thing is that doctors never do anything about bad things that happen to them at work, we don't do incident reports, we just whinge to our spouses, which is why this kind of thing happens, you think you can get away with it. As a doctor I don't behave as you did because I know you would instantly write an incident report and I would get hauled in to explain myself. That is why today I have chosen to be a bitch. I have chosen to at least make you think that I am willing to take this all the way. So next time you think twice before treating someone that way. You chose the wrong day. Today I was a bitch. Next time choose the easy way, choose to have a conversation with me, don't make me talk about you to other people.
Surg Night Cover
Ps - I talked to the nursing co-ordinator, and I am contemplating an incident report, just to show you that that kind of whining bitchy shit that we tolerate all the time can work both ways.
You chose the wrong day to piss me off. Five days into night duty and I'm feeling fierce. Let me start by telling you, I've never yelled at a nurse or had a confrontation with them. For someone who loves confrontation, I am mild and friendly when at work. I like to please, I like to get along with people. For you I have made an exception. Let me tell you why.
You called me and began your conversation in an aggressive, rude, demanding and accusatory tone, you said "When you were up here you didn't write up the IV abs". I politely asked which IV abs you were talking about you said "Bed X" I said and who is that, you said "bed X" in an exasperated voice I said "What is their name" you said "Such and such". You accusingly said "It's written on the board", I asked you "Which board" you said in a scornful voice "You must be new" and I explained to you that all the doctors who do surg night cover are new because we work in emergency and only do one week of nights as surg night cover in that time. You angrily said "Well they would have told you in your orientation", I refrained from asking you what dream world you lived in that there would be an orientation for a doctor starting a job, and said "no, we don't get an orientation". You said "well there's heaps of jobs waiting here to be done" and I asked you "What jobs", you said "You'll see when you get up here" and I asked you to tell me what jobs there were and before I could finish my sentence, you hung up on me. That was a mistake. You should not have hung up on me.
I called the phone back straight away. You ignored it. I called another phone on the ward and your supervisor answered. I asked to speak to the nurse who called me. He questioned my motives, then went to find you. After a long time he came back and said you were too busy to talk to me. I asked him for your name, he asked me why, I told him you were rude and hung up on me. He said I could ask you for it when I came up. I said I wouldn't be able to find you if I didn't know your name. He told me your first name.
I came to the ward when I was available to write up the IV abs. I found you and asked if you had called me, you said no. I asked you if your name was Chris you said yes, and that you had called me about some IV abs a while ago. I told you that it was inappropriate and rude to hang up on people. You said "did you just come here to argue with me because I have things to do". I said "no I have come here to write up the IV antibiotics, but I would like to talk to you about how you behaved on the phone, I asked about the other jobs because I had to know if there was anything urgent". You said "The IV abs were urgent". I said you called me at 5.30 about IV abs due at 6, I am here before 6, they are not that urgent (what I didn't say: besides if they were given at 6.30 it wouldn't actually be the end of the world!). You walked away in a huff and ignored me trying to talk to you. That was a mistake.
I did all the jobs written on your %*&^ing board, except rewriting an entire med chart - that is a job for the day team.
Let me explain a few things to you at this point. I needed to know what jobs were on the board, not to be difficult, but because I have to triage my calls, I can't do that if you won't tell me what they're about. I am a fair person. If I have a problem with you, I go to you about it, not someone else. Unfortunately you wouldn't listen to me, and I'd had enough of this kind of shit. If you'd listened to me, we could have discussed it like two reasonable people. Unfortunately that would have required two reasonable people in the conversation, and apparently you didn't have the necessary qualities to be in that catergory (ie - reason). Therefore I did something I have not done before, I escalated.
I went to your supervisor I explained what had happened and I flatly said to him "if I ever spoke to a nurse the way she spoke to me and then hung up on them, they would instantly write an incident report, and I'd be in a lot of trouble". He said to me as you can see we're very busy and that's why she did what she did, and at any rate an incident report wouldn't get me anywhere. I said to him "We're all busy, I worked yesterday for 9 hours without getting a break, nurses always get their breaks, I don't". Your supervisor asked what it was I wanted. I told him that I thought you needed to apologise for being rude and inappropriate. He told me it wouldn't happen. He said "this is obviously a personal issue between you and her, I have no issue with her work". This is not personal, I don't know you, I only know how you treat people when you're calling them and asking them to do something.
I went back to the resident's quarters and discussed thing (ranted) with the other residents. They said I should talk to the nursing supervisor and do an incident report. I called you and asked for your last name, you asked me why and I told you that I thought your behaviour was rude an inappropriate. You told me your last name and said that you had been busy and I asked you too many questions. I told you that I cannot triage my pages if I don't know what they are about, and being busy isn't an excuse to be rude.
The thing is that doctors never do anything about bad things that happen to them at work, we don't do incident reports, we just whinge to our spouses, which is why this kind of thing happens, you think you can get away with it. As a doctor I don't behave as you did because I know you would instantly write an incident report and I would get hauled in to explain myself. That is why today I have chosen to be a bitch. I have chosen to at least make you think that I am willing to take this all the way. So next time you think twice before treating someone that way. You chose the wrong day. Today I was a bitch. Next time choose the easy way, choose to have a conversation with me, don't make me talk about you to other people.
Surg Night Cover
Ps - I talked to the nursing co-ordinator, and I am contemplating an incident report, just to show you that that kind of whining bitchy shit that we tolerate all the time can work both ways.
posted by earthkissed | 6:27 am
7 Comments:
*big hugs*
I hope, whatever you decide, that you don't get another incident like that tonight. :)
Poor bec :( *hugs*
My vote: bust her. If people don't suffer consequences for what they do, they learn that it's permitted and keep doing it.
Too bad this happened on the other side of the planet,'cause over here I know a guy....
No, not an arm breaker kind of guy. A guy who doesn't take crap from people like that. Let's just say, he used to work for the 'government'.....and it's *amazing* the stuff he can accomplish with a single phone call. ;-)
Quite frankly, I didn't even get this mad when the other day the agency's nurse complete lack of concern was dangerous to the patient (ie - not reporting O2sats of 88% and not giving the patient O2 among a few other things). In that case I just told the nurse in charge to report it to the day people in charge because she was a danger to patients, and she said she would and I was happy. I didn't get as mad because at least that nurse wasn't rude, just unable to do her job
Ouch Bec, what a bitch of a nurse. People can really suck at times. I hope you can sort this out and remember - she's the one with the problem, no you. She probably treats everyone in her life this way.
That supervisor didn't sound too helpful either. Dismissing it as a 'personal issue' makes it sound very much like implying you were the one being petty.
I tend to agree with what pitfinder said. Otherwise she'll keep doing it, and when someone finally does get worked up enough to file an incident report it will be the first one on her file, despite a history of such incidents. This way if she does it to someone else they'll be able to establish a pattern of behaviour rather than dismissing it as an abberation.
It's unprofessional of her to behave like that and fair enough of you to get upset about it, I think.
And the most important thing Bec, is that you weren't being a bitch, you were asking reasonable questions in the first instance (god, i sound like a lawyer now!!) and in the second, trying to uncover the correct avenues to resolve the issue, reasonably. Whether you were tired, or sad, or hormonal, or whatever, doesn't even rate. She was not only rude, but unprofessional and you have every right to take this further. Do what feels right.
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