Glossed
Just found this post that I wrote awhile ago, but never got around to pressing the publish button on!
In my efforts to put up photos etc, I glossed over the last 6 months and the whole transition to parenthood. Now anyone who spoke to me in the first 3 months post partum can stop reading, I know you were all bored to death with my talk of how much my nipples hurt.
As a doctor, I thought I had a reasonable grasp of some of the challenges ahead of me. I knew babies cry for no reason, breastfeeding is not always beautiful, poo becomes a major obsession, boys wee on you every opportunity, and sleep was a luxury. Knowing and living through are two totally different things.
I thought for sure the sleep thing would be my main concern, I mean I love to sleep. That was before the Human Hoover sucked on my breast. In recovery in theatre he was placed on my breast by a midwife and within 20 minutes I had a blister on my nipple. That's okay I thought, I'll just get onto it early, I got myself an appointment with a lactation consultant, and another. Within five days the tips of both nipples were totally raw. Everytime Xander cried for a feed, I wanted to cry. When I had to attach him, I would hesitate - pulling the nipple up to his mouth, then pulling it away and trying to psych myself up to put it in. I rang everyone for advice and tried almost everything that was suggested (thank you to floss for countless hours she talked to me). Eventually at about the ten week mark, I could feed without pain.
I had always glossed over these problems with a turf to a lactation consultant with my patients. I had no real understanding how hard and painful it really could be, how long it could take to heal, even when you're getting all the right advice. Now I groan in sympathy, prepare them for the long road of recovery, encourage them, talk to them about positions, tell them to call ABA and send them to a lactation consultant. If I see a pregnant woman who looks like she might get problems, I start talking to them about it straight away, trying to get them ready!
The worse thing is, my sister-in-laws found it was worse, not better, with the next children. Those early months of breast feeding are just about the only thing that would give me pause about another baby. Everything else I can cope with!!!
I'm totally glad I stuck with it anyway. The convenience of breastfeeding over bottle was worth the agony!
In my efforts to put up photos etc, I glossed over the last 6 months and the whole transition to parenthood. Now anyone who spoke to me in the first 3 months post partum can stop reading, I know you were all bored to death with my talk of how much my nipples hurt.
As a doctor, I thought I had a reasonable grasp of some of the challenges ahead of me. I knew babies cry for no reason, breastfeeding is not always beautiful, poo becomes a major obsession, boys wee on you every opportunity, and sleep was a luxury. Knowing and living through are two totally different things.
I thought for sure the sleep thing would be my main concern, I mean I love to sleep. That was before the Human Hoover sucked on my breast. In recovery in theatre he was placed on my breast by a midwife and within 20 minutes I had a blister on my nipple. That's okay I thought, I'll just get onto it early, I got myself an appointment with a lactation consultant, and another. Within five days the tips of both nipples were totally raw. Everytime Xander cried for a feed, I wanted to cry. When I had to attach him, I would hesitate - pulling the nipple up to his mouth, then pulling it away and trying to psych myself up to put it in. I rang everyone for advice and tried almost everything that was suggested (thank you to floss for countless hours she talked to me). Eventually at about the ten week mark, I could feed without pain.
I had always glossed over these problems with a turf to a lactation consultant with my patients. I had no real understanding how hard and painful it really could be, how long it could take to heal, even when you're getting all the right advice. Now I groan in sympathy, prepare them for the long road of recovery, encourage them, talk to them about positions, tell them to call ABA and send them to a lactation consultant. If I see a pregnant woman who looks like she might get problems, I start talking to them about it straight away, trying to get them ready!
The worse thing is, my sister-in-laws found it was worse, not better, with the next children. Those early months of breast feeding are just about the only thing that would give me pause about another baby. Everything else I can cope with!!!
I'm totally glad I stuck with it anyway. The convenience of breastfeeding over bottle was worth the agony!
posted by earthkissed | 8:10 pm
3 Comments:
After talking with you and the small handful of other women my age I know who've had babies, I was prepared for the worst... You weren't the only one who described crying with pain during every feed, and I had wilfully ignored all my mum's advice to 'toughen up my nipples' and use lanolin on them every day while pregnant. Right at the end I started thinking "what if she was right? She's the only person I know who breastfed without any problems!
I'm so thankful that my breastfeeding experience didn't come down to that. The only insight I got into how it might've felt was when I got mastitis in both breasts, 3 weeks in, and I had to do the whole 'psyche yourself up before he latches on' thing for a couple of days. I am honestly not sure whether I could have toughed that out for 10 weeks. That bout of mastitis aside, the whole thing has been an absolute breeze- Setri has pretty much never had to cry when he's hungry because he gets what he wants straight away. I cannot for the life of me imagine the state he would get himself into if he had to wait for me to mix formula and warm up a bottle! Even the effort of sterilising bottles and teats when expressing (while I had mastitis- I kept breastfeeding but would empty the other breast if Setri didn't want it straight away, then Gam would feed him from the bottle after a short wait) was waaaaay too much for me to bother with when I didn't have to do it.
We've gone along to 2 ABA classes as 'demo parents', and thanks in part to you I've always been mindful of communicating to the mothers (and small number of fathers)-to-be that my experience of breastfeeding is pretty much ideal and may not be representative of how they will fare. I'm glad I'm able to tell them that most of the women I know who had problems felt it worthwhile to persevere and were able to enjoy a great breastfeeding relationship after making it through those early stages.
I do have one question though- do you think the resolution of your problems was more about strategy, or just toughing it out?
Sarah, I think the nipples recovering was for the most part about toughing it out, although there were definitely techniques that made some difference and improved at times my pain level. According to one of my lactation consultants (I saw two in my 4 days in hospital, and 1 a few times afterwards) I had a few factors conspiring against me. The first is small baby, small mouth. The second - wide flat areolas and nipples that don't stand out _that_ much. Some other factors - Xander loved to feed, and I hated to hear him cry so the minute he looked like he wanted a feed, he got one. So he would feed every 1.5-2 hours and he would feed for quite awhile. One of hte best pieces of advice I got was to keep him awake during the feed (tickling him etc if he started falling asleep), and limit him to 15 minutes per breast otherewise it would never recover. Basically she said better to have to feed him more frequently then let him suck for long periods of time. This taught him to be a quick feeder and he still seemed to get plenty of milk. Also the different positions were helpful to a certain extent- esp - and hold onto yourself here - the 69 position - it took all my self control not to laugh in the LCs face over that one, but I managed it. Apparently it's one they use for premmy bubs a bit. The LC told me that until he was about 4.5kg, I'd probably struggle. She was probably right, but it did make me obsess a little about fattening him up...
At home I didn't wear bras, which meant I leaked everywhere, but I wanted them to air. I used the gel breast pads that are supposed to promote healing for a time. I used lansinoh, calendula. I used emla cream to numb the nipples when I just couldn't take it anymore (LCs advice), tried bepanthin, tried breast milk.
I also can't imagine fiddling round with bottles, Xander gets impatient if it takes me more then a split second to undo my bra!
At the end of the day I had what equated to ulcers on the tops of my nipples and they were slow to heal due to the constant sucking, even with correct technique, they just don't heal that quick!
I hope it will be different next time, but my siser-in-laws experience is that it isn't necessarily different. I had a plan to just get pregnant ASAP (no contraception used since birth) so I could tandem feed in, therefore neatly avoiding the whole starting again thing, unfortunately breast feeding has been a terribly effective contraception for me, and now Xander seems to be self weaning...
summary:
75% toughing it out
25% strategy
Hmm thanks for that, I thought it would be useful to know whether it was more about toughing it out or whether some magic piece of advice had worked for you... just in case someone at the next class asks! I'd never even heard of the 69 position... I had trouble even picturing it!
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