The last four years

When I look back
Some of the past still hurts
More then I thought it would
This far down the track
I remember some things with clarity
Some I just remember the dark feeling
And none of the fact surrounding it

I never imagined that i would allow
A deep enough infiltration of my defenses
To allow such hurt
But scars are what scars are
An important sign that we lived
And some perhaps are my own doing
For I was the perpetrator of misunderstanding
Unwittingly
But still surely
Setting up situations
That broke me
And my friends

Sometimes I long for simpler days
Stronger friendships
More understanding
But I realise now
That I look back
With rose-coloured glasses
And what I thought was simpler and happier
Was simply shallower
Filled with more masks

If we like each other now
At least we will be liking each other
Not a cleverly concocted lie
Perhaps now with more maturity
We can accept faults in each other